Lisa Bunnage, Parenting Coach, discusses Parenting and Helping With Deeply Troubled Teens.
Loading the player...Parenting and Helping With Deeply Troubled Teens Lisa Bunnage, Parenting Coach, discusses Parenting and Helping With Deeply Troubled Teens.
Featuring Lisa Bunnage, Parenting Coach
Parenting and Helping With Deeply Troubled Teens
Duration: 2 minutes, 51 seconds
A really troubled teen will be a teen that is in a lot of pain and not usually getting along with their parents or anybody else.
And the one thing that parents can do that is just a miracle, it turns everything around so you can start to work with them, is to say, 'I'm sorry. I haven't done a very good job parenting. What can I do to be a better parent?'
When your teens in real trouble and you say I'm sorry, I haven't done a very good job,' you take all the responsibility off them and all the accountability off them, because teens in trouble are very defensive and they have walls up. Instantly that wall starts to come down if you take responsibility for everything they're doing wrong. You become fully accountable; it doesn't mean you are, but you become fully accountable.
And you'd do that for your children because you love them that much that you are going to say to them, 'It's all my fault. What can I do?' And all of a sudden - it might not be overnight, it might take a couple of weeks, but they will start to open up.
There's no such thing as a bad parent. There is such a thing as a parent who really doesn't know what to do. Every single parent loves their children and would die for them and do anything that they had to. But what you have to do is you have to tell a deeply troubled teen 'I'm going to do whatever I have to do to help you and to help me too.' So you tell them what you're going to do.
You go to the school counselor, you go to your doctor, you look for a parenting couch, you go to the grandparents, you go to anybody and everyone and you ask for help.
Presenter: Ms. Lisa Bunnage, Counselor, Coquitlam, BC
Local Practitioners: Counselor
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